I developed deep depression and was unhappy and bitter toward those around me. It seemed that everyone in my ward was pregnant at the time, and I found myself hating sweet, kind girls who did nothing wrong but have a successful pregnancy. I also found that many members who have not experienced this tragedy in their lives, make stupid remarks and add to your grief. There is no reason anyone needs to give you any advice or butt into your business at all, except to say they are sorry for your loss. At the same time, many of my greatest supporters were members who seemed to be touched by the spirit to know what to say to me.

My husband and I took a break from trying and then, after eight months of trying, we found out that I was pregnant once again. However, I feel that I know my own body, and I knew that something was not right. We went into the doctor, had an ultrasound done, and found that either my dates are way off (which they aren't) or the baby is not growing. I am bracing myself for another blow in a week when I have a second ultrasound.

I wish that I could have a reassuring spiritual experience like many of the women who have written on this page. On the contrary, while I do not feel completely forsaken by the Lord, I have not received any answers to my questions about why this is happening to us. I had my first pregnancy at twenty-five, and just turned twenty-seven . . . I am very aware that fertility declines with age. I know that things must be done in the Lord's time, but at the same time I feel that I am just trying to obey his commandment and why am I being thwarted?

I just want all the women out there who experience these problems to know how much your sharing your stories helps me. You are so courageous and only Christ knows the depths of your sorrow and your suffering. Thank you for the great example that you have been to me and I wish you well and will pray for you collectively.

Laura
Live Oak, CA