I remember once my aunt, whom I love dearly, told me that there was nothing she would not do for me, except, she said, have a baby for me.

How funny I thought that was, since no one in my family had ever had a problem getting pregnant, and there had been no miscarriages as far back as anyone could remember. Little did I know, it would be me who would travel down the road of infertility, miscarriage, and the loss of a child.

My story starts with the birth of my oldest son. He was born in December 1993 with no complications. Again in March 1998, I gave birth to another son. Once again, there was no problem with his conception or birth.

One year after our second son was born my husband and I thought we would start trying to have another child. I got pregnant a few months later, only to find in week 13 that there was no heartbeat. The pregnancy had in fact been a blighted ovum, where there is not enough DNA present to make a baby. After a D&C and two more months of waiting, we started trying again.

We got pregnant after six months. I was happy and glad this time that things seemed to be progressing as they should. I want in for an ultrasound at 7 weeks, and again, they could not find a heartbeat. I was sent in to the hospital for a formal ultrasound where I heard the technician state that the heartbeat looked strong, and how unusual that was. My husband and I were sat in a room to wait for a doctor to tell us the results of our ultrasound. This time, the placenta had implanted inside my left fallopian tube. The baby and his sac were protruding outside the end of the tube, so close to my uterus. Of course, the pregnancy had to be terminated.

We continued to pursue the blessing of another child. In February 2001, we again found ourselves pregnant. In week 6, I started to spot, and two days later we lost the pregnancy. It was labeled an early-term spontaneous abortion.

In all this time, we had never given up the thought of growing our family. My arms ached to hold the babies I was unable to bring into this world. I would see a pregnant woman in our ward and it would make me cry inside. Truly this was a very low point in my life. The thought of more children consumed me.

2002 brought new hope to us. We decided to try fertility treatments. We started with clomid and IUI. Nine months later, we gave up! The frustration of fertility was putting a wedge between my husband and I, and we decided to give up. In October 2003, I found myself spontaneously pregnant. I know that anyone looking at me saw me glowing. I was so happy and grateful. Yet, I had a gut-wrenching feeling that there was another problem.

In November 2002, again they found no heartbeat, and this pregnancy ended up being another ectopic. This time the placenta had implanted on my left ovary.

I was warned against trying any longer to have children. I was beside myself with grief. I gave up hope of having another child, but never stopped hurting inside.

Out of the blue in September 2004, my husband suggested we try In-vitro fertilization. We started researching doctors in our area and found one we felt comfortable with. I started treatments immediately. I had two embryos transferred and on Christmas Eve 2004 found out that I was indeed pregnant! I was elated! What a Christmas gift.

Soon after finding out I was pregnant, I found this website. I thought I would be one who could tell my story and give hope to those who were struggling. When I was 20 weeks pregnant, we were told that our precious baby had left us. I was admitted to the hospital, and after 36 hours of labor induction, I gave birth to our precious, stillborn daughter. She was beautiful! Perfect in every way. I am so sad that I don't have her here with me on this earth, but I am grateful to know that she is waiting for us.

Desperate to hold her, I told my husband that I needed to get pregnant again right away. I returned to our doctor and pleaded with him to transfer three embryos this time. This was our last shot, successful or not. He agreed, because in his experience, we only had a 3% chance of having triplets when doing a FET cycle.

We transferred three embryos in August 2005, and in September found out we were now carrying triplets! Of course I was terrified. I had started reading about multiple pregnancies and knew with my history that I would be in for a tough road.

On January 10, 2006, 13 weeks premature, delivered by emergency c-section, our three babies entered this world. Jackson weighed 2lbs 5oz, Ella 2lbs 3oz, and Landon was a tiny 1lb 10oz. We spent three months in the NICU, fighting infections, learning to eat and breathe. They are now close to one year old and I could not imagine our life without them.

I never would have expected to learn the lessons I have learned in this life. It was so easy to take the miracle of my older sons' births for granted. Everyone can do it, right? How wrong I was. Life is a miracle. I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father for all he has given me. I know without his tender mercies I would have been reduced to a pile of rubble long before now. Thank you for allowing me to share my story.

Jonna in CA

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