Tomorrow's News

Archives

Click on any issue to go to the front page
or
Click on titles below each issue to go to a specific article.

April
2002

Top Story
Oscar-Caliber Security for the Rest of Us?

Mr. Underwear Man
Be Afraid of Your Doctor

Mr. Manners
Etiquette for Public Intoxication

Celebrity Gossip
If We See One More Hot, Rising Latino Music Star...

Cartoons
A Bachelor Files His Taxes Jointly

March
2002

Top Story
'March Madness Plague' Sickens Thousands

Mr. Underwear Man
Why Ogling a Lady's Breasts Isn't a Compliment

Mr. Manners
Revenge for not Saying 'God Bless You'

Celebrity Gossip
What U2 is More Over-rated Then

Cartoons
Feeling a Little Clammy

Happy Page 3
Real-Life Fear Factor!



Top Story
Politician Admits: "I Don't Care About You!"

Mr. Underwear Man
Being Mr. Mom-Your Ticket to Lusty Housewives!

Mr. Manners
How Not to Screw Up Your Valentine's Day

Celebrity Gossip
Tom and Penelope Cruz and a Ben Affleck Mask?

Cartoons
Slightly Flaky

Happy Page 3
WARNING! This May (or may not) Save Your Life!



Top Story
Sexercise for the Ladies!

Mr. Underwear Man
Macho New Year's Resolutions

Mr. Manners
Handling the Help

Celebrity Gossip
Why Does Shakira Shake Her Ass Like That?

Cartoons
Home on the De-Ranged

Happy Page 3
Hygiene Hijinks



Top Story
Sexercise!

Mr. Underwear Man
Going for Distance in the Men's Room

Mr. Manners
Homophobia and You

Classifieds
Calves Heads by the Bakers Dozen

Cartoons
Heading Into Fowl Weather

Happy Page 3
Inappropriate Fonting



Top Story
Let Profit Ring

Mr. Underwear Man
How to Pretend to be Brave

Mr. Manners
Makin' Time with a Lady Friend

Classifieds
I'll Be Your Thanksgiving Hussy!

Cartoons
The Greatest Invention Since... Since...

Happy Page 3
Pulitzer Prizes for the Rest of Us



Top Story
Give Peace a Chance: The New Commie Credo

Mr. Underwear Man
The Macho Workbench: A Must!

Mr. Manners
What to Do About Your Flasher Husband

Classifieds
Lost: Peace of Mind - Sept 11, NYC Area

Cartoons
Milk Dud

Happy Page 3
Mail-Order Grooms!



Top Story
No New Taxes. LottoMania Instead!!!

Mr. Underwear Man
Why You Must Be Lord of the Dance

Mr. Manners
Dealing With the Transgendered

Classifieds
Bed & Brunch: The B&B For the Lazy Ass

Cartoons
It's Not the Rain... It's the Humidity

Happy Page 3
Bumper Stickers You Don't Want to See



Top Story
Non-famous Suspect in Levy Case Beaten Silly

Mr. Underwear Man
What to Do With the Slovenly Man

Mr. Manners
Dealing With the Errant Urinator

Classifieds
Lost: Any Real Sense of Urgency

Cartoons
The Next Best Invention in Kids!

Happy Page 3
Worst Summer Vacation Guide



Top Story
Artificial Intelligence: The George W. Bush Story

Mr. Underwear Man
Dealing With Noise Polluters

Mr. Manners
Toilet Lid Etiquette

Classifieds
Sell Your Soul: Highest Prices Paid

Cartoons
El Nino... The Musical!

Happy Page 3
Krypton TV: By Men and For Men



Top Story
Old-Fashionedness Cured!

Mr. Underwear Man
How To Be Dumb, Stupid, Lazy, and RICH!

Mr. Manners
Growing Old Gracefully

Classifieds
If I Only Had A Brain

Cartoons
The Joy Of Cooking!

Happy Page 3
Conservative Sex Talk



Top Story
Streamlining Nature for Fat, Lazy Tourists

Mr. Underwear Man
Taking Advantage of Under-age Labor

Mr. Manners
Diamonds - Not a Man's Best Friend

Classifieds
To All the Girls I've Loved Before

Cartoons
A Young Shakespeare Gets His Muse

Happy Page 3
Wacky Special Announcements!



Top Story
Being Alive Is Bad For Your Health!

Mr. Underwear Man
Top-Secret Tax Deductions.

Mr. Manners
Manners for Shopping With A Woman.

Classifieds
Elvis Secretions For Sale.

Cartoons
In A Hell Of A Jam.

Happy Page 3
Warning Lables For Humans.



Top Story
Bush Slaps Executive Gag Order on Clinton!

Mr. Underwear Man
Manly Recycling.

Mr. Manners
Proper Etiquette for Being Fired.

Classifieds
Lost: 10 Kilos of Crack. No Cops Please.

Cartoons
Tinkle, Tinkle, Little Star.

Happy Page 3
How Selfish a Lover Are You?



Top Story
Webster's Dictionary Golden Choice Award.

Mr. Underwear Man
Get Cheatin'!

Mr. Manners
Manners For Talking to a Bore.

Classifieds
Volunteers Needed... To Give Me Money!

Cartoons
Chia-pit.

Happy Page 3
World's Worst Reincarnations



Top Story
Bush Sr. Swears by Son... Then Leaves Country.

Mr. Underwear Man
When to Reveal the Real You.

Mr. Manners
When to Touch a Woman.

Classifieds
Fresh Out of Prison and Looking for Love!

Cartoons
This Will Hurt Me More than it Does You.

Happy Page 3
Top 10 Celebrity New Year's Resolutions

For even more archives of Tomorrow's News, click HERE!

Click here to find out about the Men's Room Manual

| Home | Archives |
| Subscribe | Best Links | Contact Us |

All Contents Copyrighted: Tomorrows-News.com Inc. 2002, 2001-1997